Archives for category: Midlife funnies!

Mark Twain on dogs

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I got some great publicity and had fun!

I appeared on the Huff Post Third Metric explaining how getting fired for the first time in my life ten years ago, showed me the amazing value of listening to my own inner wisdom.

It’s short and sweetGo view it here!

As a parody of the famous ”Serenity Prayer,” the “Senility Prayer” says:

“God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.”

I had a GREAT TIME watching this PBS special last night.  Don’t miss the music we grew up on, and where it all came from…

I especially enjoyed one comment by Cheech of Cheech and Chong when they were discussing how the use of marijuana had impacted the development of the music of the 1960s and 70s.

He said, “We took a few hits and then said, ‘I wonder what ELSE they’ve been lying about!'”

“Try not to take death so seriously… think of it as a great way to save on your monthly expenses!”

“I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”

“If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.”

From the article “The House of Pain” by Ryan Lizza in The New Yorker, March 4, 2013:

“A poll in January deemed Congress less popular than cockroaches, head lice, and colonoscopies (although it did beat out the Kardashians, North Korea, and the Ebola virus).”

Nora Ephron and trouble

I’m 57 and somehow I have made it through my entire life without an app.  In fact, I have never even owned a cellphone as far as that goes…

The other day I overheard a young woman putting down her friend for having a two year old phone.  “I can’t believe you still have that old phone..”  EXCUSE ME???

Am I the only sane one left on this planet who thinks a cellphone is a complete waste of time and money?  PROBABLY!

Every time I check into the possibility of getting one the contract prices and monthly charges have doubled AGAIN.  Data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Consumer Expenditure Survey (CE) shows that cell phone expenditures increased rapidly from 2001 through 2007, with the total cost of owning a cell phone surpassing the cost of residential landline phone services beginning in 2007.

Cell phone providers must be working under the assumption that they will just continue raising prices until the consumer stops paying… but they never do!  Talk about a dysfunctional addiction!

I must say, I appreciate everyday the fact that I never jumped on that gravy train for cell phone service providers!  That is one seriously expensive technology addiction that just about everyone has swallowed hook, line and sinker.

Next time you use your cell phone, think about what else you could do with those thousands of dollars per year you spend on just having a phone.

I kid you not, I just read a comment attached to an article about Mrs. Clinton taking full responsibility for the Benghazi attack.

Here it is:

“The truth is from day one Obama tried to claim that the attacks on 9/11 had nothing to do with his foreign policy, which was and is a bald faced lie designed to spin this into something other than what it was. This attack had everything to do with his foreign policy, and anyone who buy his line of BS deserves pity for being so naive.”

[HINT:  The Republicans under Bush were in charge from 2000-2008.  They famously ignored the excellent intelligence which  predicted a terrorist attack against America, culminating in 9/11.  And as far as I can see, the Republicans never had the integrity to stand up and take full responsibility for any of it.         Nice job protecting us!]

OK folks, this is the kind of stupidity we’re up against!  You cannot make this stuff up!

Here we go again with the disparaging comments about our country…

Thanks for telling us how you really feel, Mitt!

“There are 47% of the people who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it.  That’s an entitlement…”

How presumptuous of us who feel “entitled to health care, to food, and to housing.”  Yes, 60% of us do have jobs but don’t make enough to qualify for paying taxes, 40% are disabled and/or elderly living off their hard earned Social Security checks.  But let’s throw the bums out in the streets, or better yet, kill them off, so we don’t have to support them.

Please tell us,  Mr. Hitler, what else you would like to change about America?